After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
When did angry sex become our thing?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I think I just sharted jello shots
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
