Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
