we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
