She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
