Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
