It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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