Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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