At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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