i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
