I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
