i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
