For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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