upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
