The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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