he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We are all done wearing pants today
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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