I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
