Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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