I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
