Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
