i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Drunk is not a location!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
