I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
