it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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