If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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