when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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