I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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