Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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