Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
