When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize