You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize