im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize