Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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