why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize