i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize