6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize