Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm passing your future prison.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
