PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
