she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
