Already got asked if we're dating
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
