yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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