some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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