At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
