just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
