There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
