Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
