don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
