she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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