she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
