Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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