I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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