I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Green mimosas i think yes
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
