I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
