I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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