Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
