we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Please don't give away my fajitas
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