Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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