If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
