I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize