if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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