i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
