69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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