Nicole vs. Life
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
