opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
