she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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