There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
