RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
