I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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