i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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