Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i love accidental penises.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
