Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize