I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
