I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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