Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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