the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
