O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
