I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize