If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
